Pearls of wisdom
Sports fans are a curious lot. Anyone with half a brain (that’s my cue to enter the conversation) knows that “fan” is short for fanatic, right? So it shouldn’t come as a big surprise when people make some of the comments they do about our sports teams in Cleveland.
But it continues to surprise me anyway. For example, take this exchange (please):
There I was at work, working away. [Note: I have to say I was working (wink-wink) because my boss claims to read my column (probably another wink-wink); I guess this is a definitive way of finding out for sure.] We were talking football, and out of the blue, a coworker who shall remain nameless (because I don’t know his name) said, “I wonder what kind of extension they’ll (the Browns) give to Josh McCown after the season.”
But, as if that comment wasn’t ludicrous enough – then again, in this town, where we have set the bar pretty low when it comes to ludicrousness – the other guy (who shall remain nameless because some day he might be my boss, consequently it wouldn’t be sound life strategy to assassinate his character at this time) chimes in and says, “Yeah, Johnny Manziel might as well pack his bags … he’s done here.”
Oh, waiter! Check please.
Now, in addressing that first statement above, and correct me if I’m wrong – and we all know that’s darn near impossible – but coming into this year, didn’t Josh McCown win about as often as the Washington Generals? Come to think of it, his career record of success – or lack of same – does seem to eminently qualify him as being the poster boy for this franchise, but come on now. You’re telling me you want to see this guy for multiple years here … on purpose? What’s the punch line? Am I about to be squirted with water from the fake flower in your lapel? Seriously folks, I can sum up the wisdom of signing Josh McCown to a contract extension in three words: Derek Anderson.
Next, let’s look at the comment about Johnny Football being “done” here. Any statement that suggests an athlete is “done” sort of implies that – at some point or another – said performer actually accomplished something of significance in the past. Sorry, but unless making a really impressive “money” sign gets him style points, just what has Johnny done to be considered “done”? Seriously, I realize Johnny’s storied career here boasts one victory as the Browns’ starting quarterback – which, honestly, is one more than I ever thought he’d get – but once you get past that impressive 11 second highlight reel, it’s not all one big bed of roses, gang. Three words: he’s not very good.
Conclusions: I need to do a better job in choosing with whom I converse. And brushing up on my math skills wouldn’t hurt, especially if I expect to land that accounting job.
Lifelong Westlake resident who dabbles in writing whenever the real world permits. My forte is humor and horror...What a combo!