Change is a way of life

We all know that change is a fact of life. With time, everything and everyone changes. Winter snow gives way to spring leaves then summer shine and then to fall. Similarly people also change in their lifetime. They grow from sweet, cooing babies to youngsters full of energy to middle-aged couples and then seniors.

I realized this amazing fact about humans the day I met an old friend of mine after 15 long years. We used to know each other as kids, from kindergarten to high school. We had big plans for changing the world. We used to believe we could move mountains and turn rivers. We were strong believers that good things happen to good people and bad always get punished. I used to fight big kids bullying little ones in school. I once saw someone beating a dog and I fought with him standing on the street. And I didn't even know them.

My friend and I went to different colleges and eventually lost contact. Last month I came across her on Facebook. We talked on phone and relived our childhood memories. 

Suddenly she said that I had changed a lot. She said, "The fire in you has died." At that time I just laughed and brushed aside the subject but that comment got me thinking. Had I really changed that much?

After college I married my colleague who was also my best friend. We have a sweet 11-year-old. A happy family, anyone could say. I asked my husband the same thing. The answer that came was equally astonishing. He said, "Honey, the fire in you has died." I was suddenly feeling very uncertain.

That night I could not sleep at all. If it was true, why was I not able to see that change? I pulled out all the old stuff, my college yearbooks, photos and articles I had written in college debates. 

And then it struck me. I had become the same mundane housewife version of myself that I used to hate in other grownups when I was young.

Now I no longer worry about world peace or poor, unfortunate people. My world had become just my kid and my husband and daily household chores. I never have time to worry about a dog being beaten or a kid being bullied in school. I never pay attention to lazy snow falling or to beautiful leaves. I am busy buying groceries, making dinner and ironing clothes. 

That made me realize, I had not only changed, I had become the total opposite of what I once was. I had stopped living my own life. I was only living the life of my husband and then that of my son. My ideas, my goals, my dreams had all become a thing of the past.

That day I made a pact with myself: I will not let myself change like this.

Life changes and roles change with it, but we should never let our inner fire die. Today as I am sitting beside my window and enjoying the beauty of slowly falling snow, I have started finding myself again little by little. 

Although with age I will still change, that voice inside me never will. I will keep the fire alive.

Pragya Jha

I am 40 year old and mother of an 11year old special kid . Have done Masters in computer science and used to work as a software consultant back in India. We have moved To Cleveland 2 months back from from India. I loved Cleveland the moment moment I landed here . Always wanted To live In such a city . Love WestLake area .

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Volume 8, Issue 5, Posted 9:39 AM, 03.01.2016