The more the Browns change, the more they stay the same

I’m sure everyone is familiar with that old saying, “The more things change, the more they stay the same.” I don’t know who said it, but whoever coined the phrase most likely was a Cleveland sports fan. At least up until recently.

Look at the changes – and I mean positive changes, folks – regarding the Cavs and Indians over their most recent season. The Cavs stun the world by going out and winning an NBA Championship, and the Indians follow suit by looking like a very good bet to make the postseason. I mean, really, who’d a thunk it?

But does anyone realize what the real benefit behind the collective success of the Cavs and Indians is? Keeping in mind that the Browns typically account for a majority of the news space in your local sports section, we have the Cavs and Indians to thank – big time – for a major reprieve. Because otherwise, we’d be inundated – likely to the point of becoming physically ill – with stories about Johnny Rehab, Johnny Rehab’s girlfriend, Johnny Rehab’s every move. The reason being: even though he’s no longer a Cleveland Brown, most folks still find Johnny Dumbdumb stories preferable to the painful rehashing of last year’s 3-13 juggernaut.

Seriously, if the Cavs had fallen short in the playoffs and the Indians were having another stink-o summer, the sports pages would be filled with Browns stories. You know what I’m talking about: the really juicy stuff about how analytics will save the Browns (as if the rest of the NFL isn’t privy to the analytics concept). Or, how Jimmy Haslam is “committed” to putting a winner, “candidly,” on the field. (Although I must confess that while I am in total agreement with Jimmy Haslam being committed, it’s in an entirely different context).

We would be hearing, ad nauseam, about how Hue Jackson has detected (and corrected) a flaw in RG3’s “mechanics” (which would make RG3 more like R2D2, no?), and how now we can expect RG3 to revert back to his rookie form. And that all of the players in training camp may be inexperienced, but will more than compensate for that deficiency because they are all “hungry and eager to learn.” Sorry, but hungry as they may be, it will take more than a Snickers bar to make up for the talent shortage this fall. Pass the milk of magnesia, please.

From the 1940s through the early ‘60s, annual success by the Indians, Browns, and hockey Barons had Cleveland dubbed “the city of champions.” Are we approaching world dominance again? I mean, the Cavs are world champs, the Indians are serious pennant contenders, and the Browns are – oh yeah – unfortunately … still the Browns.

It’s reassuring to know at least there are some things you can always count on.

Jeff Bing

Lifelong Westlake resident who dabbles in writing whenever the real world permits. My forte is humor and horror...What a combo!

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Volume 8, Issue 14, Posted 9:44 AM, 07.19.2016