Coach, Hue can’t be serious

Okay gang, let’s hop into the Way-back Machine and return to a simpler time. Like a few weeks ago, when the Browns were still taking the “Let-the-rookie-sit-and-learn-before-we-throw-him-to-the-dogs” approach. You know, stuff that actually made sense.

I don’t know if it’s pressure from above (by a guy who goes by the name of “Jimmy”) or Hue has simply been caught up in the euphoria of winning all four exhibition games (note to Hue: these games don’t count when the real season begins). I mean, for the last year and a half or so all we have been hearing from Sashi Brown et al is that the Browns were/are “Going to do it the right way” (for a change), which included not rushing the quarterback in to play before his time.  

I know the Browns will be an improved football team this year (how can they possibly not be?) but at the most critical developmental stage to date of his brief career, play is precisely what DeShone Kizer is going to do.

Answer me this: Did Noah take the Ark out for a test drive before he installed the rudder? (“The steering on this thing is awful.”) I’m guessing no. Did Orville and Wilbur Wright take the Wright Flyer 1 out for a spin with only one side of the wings completed? (“Wilbur, I wonder why it keeps pulling to the left.”) Again, I’m thinking they opted out on that notion. Did Batman ever stand up against evil without the Boy Wonder? (“Holy abandonment, Batman, you forgot me.”) Not in any of the TV episodes I watched.

The point I am trying to make is this: I really, really, really want to believe in the Browns because it’s been so long since we’ve had a real run with our football team. But the fact of the matter is they keep doing stuff that makes you scratch your head in bewilderment. Hue Jackson has been in football for a lifetime and I just can’t see him going with a rookie QB before he has a good read on just how good his football team will be.

This reminds me of the 1999 Browns who said all training camp they were going to use Ty Detmer as the starting QB and first-round draft pick Tim Couch would watch and learn for a year. Well, the Browns and Detmer were smoked by the Pittsburgh Steelers something like 43-0 in the opener (which reminds me, who do we open against this year?) in Cleveland in 1999. In a classic act of desperation – which has since become a trademark in Cleveland football – Browns coach Chris Palmer panicked and started Couch in the second game of the season. Couch went on to get beat up most of his career in Cleveland and never became the quarterback he might have if handled properly.

Seriously, Wile E. Coyote fashioned better game plans against the Road Runner, and Wile E. never won. Then again, Wile E. never went up against the Browns.

My thinking is that the Browns have a favorable schedule – only six games are against teams with winning (over .500) records last year, and the Browns might actually think they can make a run from worst to first. Love to see that happen, but it seems a bit lofty for a team that won only a single game in 2016.

I see them winning six – maybe seven – games because I just don’t see everyone improving to the extent of them being a contender quite yet.

No matter, if DeShone Kizer is still vertical – as opposed to horizontal – at the end of the season, it should be considered a success. If not, the next coach of the Browns may well go by his initials: W.E.C.  

Jeff Bing

Lifelong Westlake resident who dabbles in writing whenever the real world permits. My forte is humor and horror...What a combo!

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Volume 9, Issue 17, Posted 9:41 AM, 09.06.2017