Waiter, there’s a fly (ball) in my soup

Have you ever become so invested in something that you became so confident, so sure about a given outcome that you never considered the possibility of anything other than what you expected?

“It’s a short series …. anything can happen,” they said.

“Ha ha ha,” was my knowing (and un-mistakenly arrogant) reply.

“A year ago, we blew a two-game advantage against the Cubs,” they chided.

“Yes, but that was with an Indians team decimated by injuries to the pitching staff, and they almost won the whole thing anyway!” I exclaimed, angered by their utter lack of baseball knowledge. They didn’t realize who they were talking to: me, the all-knowing, utterly infallible omnipotent one. Morons, I thought. All of them: morons!

They say the best thing to do when you suffer great loss is to think about all the good things you have in life. You know, the really important things. And once you do that, they say, you’ll put things in perspective, and you won’t dwell on the little, insignificant things. So I thought about my wife, my family, my job, my writing. Okay, maybe I should have stopped after thinking about my job, but let’s not lose focus here; I’m trying to make a point.

And you know what? They were right … for about 45 minutes, anyway.

The truth is that this hurts … big time. Last year’s Little Engine that Could became this year’s Big Engine that Couldn’t.

The ramifications of the Indians’ stunning exit from the playoffs are far-reaching. Consider that last year, the Indians played into November, which meant I didn’t have to pay attention to the (gasp) Browns until they were 0-9 or 0-10. So I didn’t have to suffer through even half a season with them last year. This year – lucky me – I have to check in on the (gasp) Clowns when they are only 0-5. That means I have 11 – count 'em, 11 – more weeks of Evil Dr. Haslam’s House of Horrors. Thanks, Corey Kluber. Thanks, Jose Ramirez. Because, really, the Browns? I should have bought stock in Pepto Bismol; I would have doubled my money in weeks.

Next, I get to watch the Cavaliers’ reenactment of The Over-the-Hill-Gang – a bittersweet tale of a group of golden agers who try to make one last run before going off to the retirement home. Let’s hope this is a one-shot deal and they don’t make a sequel.

Hey, are the Monsters supposed to be any good this year? How about the Rockers – are they still in town? Desperate times call for desperate measures, right?  

Anything to help me forget about the first round of the MLB Playoffs.

Then again, next year will be the 70th anniversary of last Indians World Championship, so maybe we will have karma on our side in 2018.

What time does the equipment truck leave for Goodyear next February?

Jeff Bing

Lifelong Westlake resident who dabbles in writing whenever the real world permits. My forte is humor and horror...What a combo!

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Volume 9, Issue 20, Posted 9:47 AM, 10.17.2017