Comic relief a huge factor in Cleveland’s fall TV lineup

By now, pretty much everyone has seen the new fall lineups of the approximately one bazillion (or so it seems, anyway) TV networks operating out there nowadays, right? And, with all those choices, odds are there must be some really high-quality programming.

Oh yeah? Well then, how come in our household we still watch reruns of "Friends" most of the time? I think the answer lies in the fact that most of the programming lacks innovation. Seriously, they’re bringing back "Murphy Brown"? "Magnum P.I."? Did we by any chance get sucked into a time warp somewhere during the drive down the road formerly known as common sense?

Well, I have an idea. Actually, it’s something I presented to the masses a couple of years ago and it was received rather well. (Note: “rather well” means that – for once – the masses didn’t try to torch my house in protest). What I proposed was to take some of the national programs and “localize” them specifically for Cleveland.

For instance, ABC has a new show called "A Million Little Things." Here in Cleveland, we could take that title and – presto! – it would apply perfectly right after every Browns loss, as coach Hue Jackson tries to explain what went wrong THIS time. Any Browns fan knows there is usually a plethora of reasons why the Browns lost, so you begin to understand why the title would be a good fit, right?

With that in mind, consider some more possibilities …

How about "The Gifted"? Every week, the story would focus on opposing player(s) because unfortunately, there’s no one on the Browns roster that qualifies as “gifted.” Maybe in a few years things will change. Oh, who am I kidding?

Another possibility might be "Survivor." Whoever starts the most games at quarterback for the Browns – and is still in the NFL the following season – would be the winner. Finding anyone to win on this show has been particularly difficult over the past couple of decades.

"Criminal Minds": A fictitious study of certain NFL team owner(s) who can’t seem to keep the federales off their backs. Purely hypothetical, of course. We don’t know – or can’t think of – anyone like that around here.

"How to Get Away with Murder": Literally bilking thousands upon thousands of sports fans out of their hard-earned money with the oft-empty promise of “better” football, this ties in nicely with "Criminal Minds." You know, there are a lot of people in the slammer for having committed lesser offenses.

The best show might be "I Feel Bad" because it would star about a half-million Greater Cleveland football fans every Sunday night. Yes, it’s the classic lose-lose scenario.

You know, the funniest part of all this is when a Browns fan asks me how I can watch the same-old same-old when I tell him I’m a "Friends" fan. “It’s been tired old reruns for a couple of decades now,” they say.

Funny, because that’s how I describe the last two decades of Browns football.


Jeff Bing

Lifelong Westlake resident who dabbles in writing whenever the real world permits. My forte is humor and horror...What a combo!

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Volume 10, Issue 11, Posted 10:08 AM, 06.05.2018