Humor

Collecting Quarters

Washing clothes is a boring but necessary chore. Mum always said to wear clean socks. I always answered,"OK mum, I'll change them."

That was great because mum had a washing machine and she did the family laundry. I live in an apartment and have to do my own laundry. Having enough quarters to feed two washing machines is a real challenge.

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Volume 5, Issue 20, Posted 9:37 AM, 10.01.2013

The Apple Orchard

When I was a very young boy my mom and dad and little sister would go to rural Ohio to visit my aunt and uncle. When we got there it was lunch time. My aunt told my uncle to go out to the apple orchard and bring something back to eat. By and by my uncle returned. My aunt made paprikash which is a Hungarian stew usually made with chicken.

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Volume 5, Issue 16, Posted 9:22 AM, 08.06.2013

A Strange Dream

One afternoon I called my lady friend to see if she would like to go to Huntington Beach the next day. We would pack a picnic lunch and watch the sail boats on the lake. My tripod and scope would give us a great view. My only worry was the steps from the top of the hill down to the beach. At my age, I was a little afraid of falling.

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Volume 5, Issue 15, Posted 9:49 AM, 07.23.2013

Never break a promise

My granddaughter was attending a summer science class in another school district. Picking her up after school was a nice grandfatherly thing to do. I'm bragging. Keep reading.

The class was running late, so my lady friend and I decided to wait for her in the car. It was a hot day. My granddaughter was hot and tired from working in the classroom and my lady friend and I were just hot. I decided something cool would be a treat. I asked the two ladies, one almost a teenager and the other more mature, if they they wanted to stop for ice cream. There was a double "Yes, please."

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Volume 5, Issue 14, Posted 9:49 AM, 07.09.2013

A Very Unusual Ride

A very good friend of mine called early the other morning. His car was in a parking lot across town. It wouldn't start. He asked me for a lift home and, of course, I said yes. I skipped breakfast, thinking we would eat when we got somewhere near home. My stomach began to remind me just how hungry I was as soon as I pulled out of the drive.

I picked my friend up and started driving back to the west side when we came across two big trucks that looked like giraffes. A large slender pole was attached to a bucket which was used to lift workers who were fixing power lines. The thin strands of wire reminded me of spaghetti. Great. My stomach was making rumbling noises by this time. Farther down the street a huge truck pulled an earth-moving machine. A side street was being torn up for repair.The condition of the street reminded me of peanut butter and jelly. How's that for a wild imagination?

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Volume 5, Issue 11, Posted 9:47 AM, 05.29.2013

Sandy's Storm

Well, it's been about six months since Sandy visited us. Rain, wind, downed trees, power outages and no heat or T.V. were what Sandy brought to town. With only an electric stove, I had no hot food. Dry cereal, cold canned food, what a treat. The stores were closed, the power lines were down, so what's a guy to do? Mixing powdered milk with cold water on dry cereal started to taste pretty good after awhile.

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Volume 5, Issue 10, Posted 10:18 AM, 05.14.2013

A Squirrel's Point of View

The bushy tailed brown squirrel scurried across the fence. He jumped to the ground next to the big brick building. He scratched his head. What are these stones doing here? The squirrel had buried his stash of berries and nuts in the ground here. When he left his stash there were only a few weeds and soft brown soil. Now the whole place was covered with fancy stones.

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Volume 5, Issue 8, Posted 10:46 AM, 04.16.2013